celebrating dissapointment

I was very disappointed when I find out I wasn’t able to join Semester 8 class AGAIN! at least not until February 2008...
I was shocked that it happened again few months before my Job contract ends and I was confuse how to upfront my parent about this. They should have fun while staying in Malaysia not experience disappointment. Questions and doubts was on our mind,

“why God?”

…. Sigh….

This is the third… second? I was…
Promise is just a promise… it remains the same when lightly she said the same things over and over again though we know that’s not the real fact& truth. I was battling inside whether to expose everything and even show the letter. I was caught in between family & profession, love and anger, forgiveness and disappointments… she lied to cover whose shame, I’m not sure… she act as if she don’t know my case at all… what we mentioned & discussed the day before, seemed so vague and full of nonsense. I just stay silent and bow my head… I can’t stand to see my dad’s expressions and seeing she was so calm and smiling…

I was so disappointed…

But then… I chose to stay calm and silent… I chose to try to forgive and understand the WHOLE situation from God’s point of view… I try to see from a God’s loving eye and knowing that He sees, knows, hears every single thing from day 1 till now… try to accept the best solution that was offered… try to smile and joyfully grateful…

God is good!

Today as I open my internet, to a page I always visited… Daily bread… and guess what… there I see the title “celebrating disappointment”… it says about celebrate our disappointment; when we are disappointed why don’t we count God’s blessings in our life… believing that God will turn our mourning into dancing, our sorrow to joy, believing that He will never leave nor forsake us… believing that He will only give the best, give life with a future and a hope…

true enough, the disappointment was soothed by a grateful heart…. It’s such an amazing feeling when again I experienced God’s faithfulness & grace… He listened my family’s crying heart, He knew even before we say anything and I know He wants to use my situation for His glory… I know this problem will end soon and it will end WELL! He will look down and say “well done my daughter”.

Thank God in your disappointment,Celebrate His grace and love;Know that He will never leave youAnd will bless you from above. —D. De Haan
The pain of disappointment is soothed by a heart of gratitude.

daily bread: April 13, 2007

in remembering you

Dear Lord, I know You hear me, and that Youare powerful and wise. Help me to wait patientlyand to trust You for Your good and perfect answersto the needs of those I love. Amen.

Delay is not denial. So keep on praying.

source: daily bread, 12.04.2007

i feel like writing again...
but i don't know what to write or where to start...
i just feel like writing

God i was just wondering, lately, about how i feel, what i see around me, what i've experienced... things that break my heart for not being able to do anything, but i know deep down in my heart that you know what's going on and i know that you care for those people... i know that you let this things happenned for a caused and it will always be for a GREAT caused!

I know that you blessed me with many blessings, even though i know i don't deserve it, is because you know what i needed the most right now... Is not about deserving or not, it's about you knowing the best for me and making my life a living testimony...

i feel as if i'm standing in the middle of a BIG war and hundreds were laid on the ground... hurting and suffering... I've questioned and look around....I almost fell and cry... knowing i have a chioce to make.... To believe that you are in control and do something or to cry and complain....

and Lord, i choose to trust you... believe you are in control... i choose to do something instead of just stand stood and cry...

Give me strength o Lord... remember your people and your promises... give me your passion so they may know that they have hope in you....

help me to see every day through your eyes
help me to know and be the doers of the things you want me to achieve today

week that is worth it!

my dearest Jesus,

this next 1 week will be a VERY LONG week and tiring as i'll be working and preparing for Easter every day... and i know i have so many things i want to share yet i still didn't manage to write it down all...

humbly, i'm asking you to give me LOTS of strength and courage to pass these next 7 days so i wont be burnt out but as i seek your face i'll be stronger...

i know it wouldn't be easy with the fasting still on... but i know as i sow i will reap and i pray that it wont be a waste but it'll be fruitful... i shall see salvation happen on both Easter days, healing shall take place and back slid den shall return to your righteous way...

i pray that every invitation sent will not return in vain but it will bring fruits for your Kingdom... i pray for every sits to be filled by your people who needs you the MOST and i pray that every hands shall be lifted as you call them to be your family... i pray that every acting, music and singing shall deliver the message of joy, message of hope message of love and salvation...

we will wait patiently and faithfully for your will to be done that every knee shall bow and every tounge shall confess that you are Lord and Saviour. Kings above all kings!!

your name shall be lifted HIGH above all else and your name shall be praised and heard all around the world

your Spirit will reign and you mercy and grace shall flow like a river of living water!!

How great is you o Lord over Israel... How magnificent your power o Lord of life... How great is Thou Art!!!

praise be the Lord
bless the Lord o my soul...and all that is within me.... bless His Holy name!!!